


The Humping Question (Crackshot)

by soloscry



Category: 2PM (Band)
Genre: Crack, Cute, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 09:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12407967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soloscry/pseuds/soloscry
Summary: Nichkhun doesn't think Wooyoung knows what "humping" is. (Pure Crack Fic with No Plot, this is an old fanfic that I wrote ages ago so Jay is still a part of 2PM here) Crack. Romance. Random. No plot whatsoever.





	The Humping Question (Crackshot)

**The Humping Question**  
One (crack) shot

by Solo's Cry

* * *

Nichkhun hadn't given it a second thought when Chansung had originally moved himself out of their room.

Amidst seven unruly hormonal males, a single room was a godsend. Unfortunately, it only took about a week for Nichkhun to raise an eyebrow at the strange situation.

Well, let's, for a moment, ignore the fact that maknaes are weird and strange by nature and that 'giant' maknaes are of no exception, and  _analyze_  this curious case with no biases attached.

Having fought tooth and nail for the top bunk… Nichkhun would think Chansung would have had some kind of emotional attachment to it. Actually, he was sure he'd caught the younger humping it once or twice (well, it was either the bed or the overstuffed Hello Kitty… but the older members deemed classification unnecessary since humping either of them was just "fucking wrong" as Jay so nicely put it).

However, after only three nights, Chansung suddenly announced he liked the floor better and promptly grabbed his blankies to plop onto their cluttered living room floor.  _Without_  the Hello Kitty.

Unnerved by the abrupt change but too tired to care, Nichkhun had let it slide.

It wasn't until this fateful night did Nichkhun discover something disturbing about the turn of events.

Feeling thirsty, the Thai prince had rolled himself out of bed to make a short journey to the kitchen. Thinking to only grab a glass of water and return to his bed, he had blindly shuffled a step or two out of his door.

Caught mid-yawn with his arm raised above his head, Nichkhun found his eyes involuntarily glued downward to the wooden floorboards. Right.

So there Chansung was. Not sprawled all over the floor like they'd imagined. No. No. What none of the older members cared to remember was that… Wooyoung already occupied the said floor.

So what exactly had Nichkhun's panties in a bunch?

Aside from the fact that Wooyoung was  _his_ , the boys in question were cuddling (quite cutely) with their blankets twisted around them so tightly that Wooyoung's head was literally cradled under Chansung's neck.

But no, all the members practiced a little skinship here and there.

The thrilling fact here (ha) is that Wooyoung was trapped between the edge of the sofa and Chansung's huge ass body.

His Wooyoungie could quite possibly be dead.

Nichkhun quickly made his way over and managed to roll Chansung's body to the side before gently removing Wooyoung from the tangled blankets. Albeit a little blue, the poor boy appeared to be breathing.

Blinking at the cute image in his arms, he let the younger boy slip from his grip until Wooyoung hit the floor with a soft thud.

Nichkhun suddenly felt parched again. Really parched. Like someone-ripped-his-throat-out parched.

Wooyoung was pretty cute when he slept. Almost… 'girly' cute.

Eyeing Chansung suspiciously, Nichkhun got up to his feet to resume his walk to the kitchen. Could this be why the tall maknae abandoned his Hello Kitty? Did he switch out the fake plush doll for the real deal?

And if so… has he humped Wooyoung at all? Nichkhun sipped his water, observing the scene in the living room.

He could ask Wooyoung… but he doubted the boy would even know what 'humping' was.

Which was precisely why Nichkhun had kept his distance even though they'd officially become a couple.

Well. He couldn't just leave things like this…

* * *

Wooyoung yawned and rolled over to stretch out his legs. It's been a long while since he'd slept so good. Arms and legs toasty warm under soft silky smooth blankets and all…

The first thing that entered his suddenly extremely conscious mind was that he was indeed warm and comfy and that the arm giving him the warmth was definitely not Chansung.

Second thing was that the comfort he felt was coming from the nice cushiony bed he'd somehow ended up in and his beloved waxed living room floor was nowhere to be found.

O_O

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Scrambling out of the deep embrace and tumbling clumsily to the hard floor, Wooyoung gripped the blankets to his chest, "Do you know who I am?! I'll have you arrested! PERVERT!"

The light brown head buried in the pillow above him twitched.

Wooyoung gulped and pointed an accusatory finger, "I'm warning you! D-don't make any sudden movements!"

A muffled reply came from the head.

Wooyoung stared. The voice had been very  _very_  male, "…"  _Not good, not good! I think I have clothes on but I don't want to check! HYUNG, SAVE ME!_

Slowly the head rose up and a pair of sleepy eyes trained on him, "What time is it?"

_Nichkhun-sshi?! O_o?_

Nichkhun stared at him, his eyes glossy, "What?"

Wooyoung peaked down at himself to see that his pajamas were still in place. Of course they were. Why wouldn't they be? Nichkhun wouldn't touch him with a ten feet pole. Feeling slightly disappointed for no apparent reason, Wooyoung shrugged, "I don't know…"

Nichkhun suddenly propped himself up with his elbows, "Hey…"

"Y-yeah…?"

"Have you ever been humped before?"

… O_O…? "Er… pardon me?"

Nichkhun sat up with a huge yawn, "Nevermind."

"W-why am I in your room?" Wooyoung tried not to stare at how good Nichkhun looked in his plain white tank top. The way his chest looked so chiseled and how amazing his arms looked when he flexed them up to fix his sleep mussed hair…

Wooyoung quickly shook off the dreamy look passing over his face and coughed.

Okay, so he had a  _little_  crush. Who could blame him anyways? Khun was hot. Cute. Smart. Tall. Wooyoung paused. Hmm. There wasn't really a specific reason why Wooyoung liked him, but he just knows that he does.

Nichkhun stood up, "I don't remember. I think I carried you in." Shrugging, the older boy left the room, "Come on, we've got a loaded schedule today."

Wooyoung pouted. Why does Nichkhun seem so disinterested?

* * *

Jaebum wasn't the smartest of the bunch but he didn't have to be a genius to know that something was up. He didn't know where Wooyoungie slept normally… but he knew the boy didn't belong  _there_.

Well, at least he shouldn't 'already' be  _there_  after only a week of dating.

"Hey, Taec." He knew there was no use speaking English but he did anyways, "Did you see that?"

Taecyeon blinked, "See what?" The tall man glanced around. Messy dorm. Half-naked zombies. Nothing out of the ordinary. "Something wrong, Jay?"

"Wooyoung just came out of Khun's room."

Taecyeon raised an eyebrow, "And…?"

"Where is he supposed to be at night?"

Taecyeon rolled his eyes, "They're adults. I'm sure they can handle themselves."

Jaebum frowned. Yes. He was  _sure_  they could handle themselves. That was what he was afraid of.

He wasn't blind. He saw the hearts floating off of Wooyoung's (silky) head when he was around the Thai prince. Jaebum didn't think Nichkhun had it in him to take  _advantage_  of Wooyoung's hero worship but it wouldn't hurt to be sure.

Jaebum looked around before moon-walking (because he could) over to where Nichkhun was hunched over his suitcase.

"Hey, you got a minute?"

Nichkhun slowly straightened with a neatly folded shirt in his hand and slowly raised an eyebrow. Jaebum's exclusive use of English usually meant trouble, "Yeah, what's up?"

"What was Wooyoung doing in your room?" Jaebum leaned in closer, his eyes narrowing, "Didn't do anything  _funny_  did you?"

Finding the inspection almost comical, Nichkhun feigned innocence, "Funny? Like… what kind of funny?"

Jaebum squinted, "You know… the-type-of-funny-you-shouldn't-be-indulging-in-when-you've-only-been-dating-for-a-week funny?"

Nichkhun laughed, nudging Jaebum's smaller body out of his way, "No. We didn't 'indulge' in that type of funny last night."

Jaebum's psyche wasn't much reassured after hearing the words 'indulge' and 'last night' in the same sentence, "Then what kind of funny did you engage in?"

Nichkhun watched the leader for a few moments and was rewarded with an eyebrow wiggle. Grunting in disgust, he thunked Jaebum on the head with the shirt and promptly made his way to the bathroom without answering.

Not finding any of the closure he needed from the short conversation, Jaebum tracked Wooyoung down for a man-to-boy talk.

"Wooyoung!" He grabbed the unsuspecting boy from behind and pulled him until their faces were mere centimeters apart, "Did Nichkhun hump you or anything?"

Wooyoung blinked "Hump?" He looked up, his face contorting, "Why do people always ask me that?"

"What do you mean?"

Finding the interest sparkling in Jaebum's eyes a little unnerving, Wooyoung stuttered, "Ah… this morning…"

Jaebum nodded, "Yes, yes?"

"… Nichkhun asked me if I've been humped before…."

Jaebum's ears turned red, "Did he offer?!"

Wooyoung shook his head, horrified, "No!"

Jaebum threw Wooyoung away like a rag doll as he turned towards the bathroom, "Fine. I will allow you to escape for the day, Mr. Perfect!" He laughed evilly for a few seconds before sharply pivoting on his toes to return to his own room.

Wooyoung stared at the psychotic leader as he marched away, "What the…?" He turned his gaze to the forgotten Taecyeon standing a few feet away, "…?"

Taecyeon shrugged from his position a few feet away, "Hey, don't look at me. He's a totally different species."

* * *

_Good news? How is this good news?_

Wooyoung frowned.

Despite how great it was to be able to work together with the Wonder Girls and be included in the girl group's performance at MKMF, Wooyoung simply didn't like the idea.

Not that he didn't want 2PM to get more exposure… but more because of… well…

His gaze slid over to Nichkhun.

They haven't been dating long. And they've never had to dance with  _girls_  before. Nichkhun has yet to do anything couple-like with him and that worried Wooyoung a little more then he cared to admit.

Nichkhun… and Sohee. Wooyoung sighed, pulling his knees closer to his chest from his position on the floor. The girl was cute and skinny and… and a  _girl_.

"What's with you today?" Taecyeon asked, sliding with his back to the wall until he was sitting on the floor next to Wooyoung.

The younger shrugged.

"What? Afraid Khun's gonna leave you for a girl?"

Wooyoung didn't answer.

Taecyeon cocked his head to the side, a soft smile lighting up his face, "That's normal." He brought his arm around Wooyoung's shoulders and pulled the smaller boy up against his side, "He loves you."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm nothing compared to soft curves and a gentle voice." Wooyoung slumped.

Taecyeon gently took a hold of Wooyoung's chin and pulled the boy's face up to look him in the eyes, "He's not interested…" Taecyeon smirked and deepened into his trademark bedroom voice, " _Trust_  me."

Wooyoung held his breath, an involuntary blush warming his cheeks when he realized how close their noses were to touching.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Taecyeon let out an amused groan of pain when he was suddenly shoved away by a glaring Nichkhun, "Hands off!"

Taecyeon rubbed his shoulder with another grunt, "What was that for? I was just talking to him. Right, Wooyoung?"

Wooyoung stared at Nichkhun in shock before looking at Taecyeon, "Ah… yeah… we were just… talking…"

Nichkhun glared at the smirking Taecyeon before helping Wooyoung up, "Let's go get something to eat before the girls get here."

"I'm not hungry..." Wooyoung couldn't explain to himself why he couldn't meet Nichkhun's eyes. He feigned a yawn and stretched, "I think I'm going to take a nap instead." Wooyoung looked up to see his boyfriend frowning at him.

Nichkhun brought a hand up to Wooyoung's forehead, "Are you sick?"

Taecyeon rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Yeah.  _Love_  sick." After receiving a rather withering glare from Wooyoung, he closed his eyes and faked sleep.

Wooyoung took Nichkhun's hand away from his face, "No. I'm just tired."

Nichkhun furrowed his eyebrows, "Okay, well… I guess we could rest up a little…"

"No!" Meeting startled eyes, Wooyoung quickly amended, "You should go get something to eat. I'm fine."

Nichkhun stared at him, "Are you avoiding me or something?"

"Ah…"

"Is our relationship scaring you?"

_Scaring? No. Worrying? Yes._  Wooyoung shook his head, "No…"

"Are we moving too fast?"

_Fast? I haven't even got my first kiss!_  Wooyoung closed his eyes, "No…"

Nichkhun stepped closer, "Look, I know it's weird since we've only been dating for like… a week. But let's make it a point to actually spend time together, okay?"

Wooyoung flushed pink, "… o-okay."

* * *

Practice has been going on for about an hour. The steps were relatively easy to remember.

Wooyoung noticed, with great delight, that Nichkhun always dropped Sohee immediately after they finished their sequence. Professionalism was one of those oddly handsome traits Nichkhun possessed. And the cute smile Nichkhun always gave him was always a plus.

Cheering Nichkhun on gleefully, Wooyoung sat comfortably in the corner of the dance studio. Chansung came to sit next to him.

"Hey," the maknae whispered, "Where'd you go last night?"

Wooyoung blushed. It was a highly classified secret that both Wooyoung and Chansung were as bad as girls when it came to gossiping. It was this common interest that led to Chansung's move from the top bunk to the floor, "I was in Nichkhun's room."

Chansung smirked, "Really now? What happened?"

"Nothing." Wooyoung pouted, "It was totally innocent. I don't even know why he carried me in."

"He  _carried_  you?"

Wooyoung nodded with a smile, "Yeah…"

They shared a look of childish mischievous enjoyment before the dance teacher called up the next 'couple'.

"Ah… I'm up." Wooyoung stood up, "I guess we'll have to finish this later tonight."

Chansung laughed, "Count me in!"

* * *

Okay, so… assuming he heard correctly… the exact words were 'we'll have to finish this later tonight'?

Nichkhun, once again, eyed Chansung suspiciously. He briefly wondered if anyone would notice if Chansung suddenly disappeared…

If he made Wooyoung sleep with him in his bed from now on, Chansung wouldn't be able to get his greasy hands on him, right? Right.

He felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Nichkhun-sshi…"

He turned around to see Wooyoung's smiling face, he pulled the boy into a one-armed embrace, "Yes, love?"

Wooyoung blushed, "Ah…" The boy fidgeted to get into a better position before continuing, "We haven't… done much…?"

Nichkhun paused, "Huh?"

Wooyoung's face somehow got redder, "I mean… you don't have to worry about me… I kind of want to... do things too…?" The finish was too unsure to be a statement.

Nichkhun suddenly couldn't hear over his pounding heart. He cleared his throat, "What do you mean… things?"

Wooyoung's eyes were on him, "You know…"

Nichkhun found the air around him very lacking, "… you mean like…" Suddenly Jaebum's words came to mind, "…  _funny_ things…?"

Wooyoung looked confused, "No… like…" He looked down to think, "I don't know… well… we could…" He gestured fruitlessly.

With a lack of a better word, Nichkhun blurted, "Hump?"

Wooyoung covered his face, "... gyah... I guess...?"

"You guys are so pathetic."

Nichkhun glanced over to see Taecyeon a few feet away, "Are you ever  _not_  around?"

Chansung answered for the piano-teeth man from the other side, "Nope."

Nichkhun sighed.

* * *

Jaebum didn't like it.

"It" being the door. "It" was in the way.

"Dude, Jay. Just leave the lovebirds alone."

Jaebum's eyes were narrowed slits when they zeroed in on Taecyeon's face, "No." He continued to glare in the general direction of Khun's door, "I thought we had a no locking the door policy in this dorm?"

Junho rolled his eyes from his position on the sofa, "If you are so worried about knowing what they are doing. Just wait."

"Wait?"

Junsu laughed, "Yeah, we'll hear them eventually."

It took a moment for that to process. Jaebum's face scrunched, "I do not approve."

As if on cue, a rather loud moan answered their prayers.

Junho blinked, "Woah. Are they really going to do it with us still here?" He threw the magazine he was reading over his shoulder, "Quick, someone get a camera!"

Junsu didn't seem to be on earth anymore, "I think that was Wooyoung..."

Taecyeon grinned (the only one who was truly excited about the entire situation), "First leaked boy-group sex tape!" He rubbed his hands together, "E-Bay, here I come!"

Jaebum suddenly turned green, "Oh my god. Jin Young-hyung is going to fucking kill me."

Junho snorted, "Whatever. As long as you give him a copy, I'm sure he'll be fine."

It took another extra long sultry Wooyoung!moan and a rather sexy Nichkhun!groan to finally drive Jaebum over the edge and into blessed unconsciousness.

The dorm grew quiet for a couple of seconds before Chansung laughed maniacally.

Taecyeon groaned, "Aw man, shit!"

Junho held out his hand, "Come on, fork over the money."

Taecyeon kicked Jaebum's limp body in protest, "Damn." He pulled out his wallet, "I thought for sure he'd last longer than that..."

* * *

**End "The Humping Question"**

(thank Buddha)

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my muselessness. ~_~'. I find KhunYoung to be so utterly adorable XD. I couldn't resist . ! I left Jaebum in the fic because this was the 2PM I knew at the time it was written.


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